#SorryNotSorry but if you learn one, you should probably learn the other. Love spells and break-up spells (cord cuttings, banishing, etc.) are two of the most commonly sought out forms and branches of magick and witchcraft.
Whether it's the highly-anticipated and buzzworthy Valentine's Day quickly approaching, or all of the bleeding hearts energy we're experiencing upon the February 16th Leo Full Moon and the Sun entering into the sign of Pisces on Friday, February 18th, the subjects of love and hate, attaching and detaching, attracting and avoiding are all active and palpable.
Your experience level in witchcraft is no matter in terms of expanding your knowledge and understanding of these kinds of magick because love magick and break-up spells are actually branches underneath a much larger tree of Attraction and Repulsion, and these energies are quite present in so many other areas of our lives than we tend to think. Yes, of course romantic relationships, but romance is also just another small branch beneath the broad tree that is Relationships. There are so many different acquaintances, associations, and connections we have, that can then be casual, formal, professional, friendly, flirty–the list goes on and on.
Sometimes we want to be closer with people and strengthen our connection with them, or a connection and love within ourselves. Other times there are people and places we feel safer away from, whether for a certain time or distance, or indefinitely, and everywhere in between. We learn this in mainstream society as the importance of healthy boundaries and how these will look different in each of our unique relationships in our lives, so that is how we can understand and apply love magick and break-up spells beyond the romantic relationship.
Disclaimers
As a witch, manifestation practitioner, astrologist, and/or energy worker - you understand you create your own reality and therefore have complete ownership over your life. It is not the responsibility of anyone outside of yourself to make any kind of life decision on your behalf. Namely, stop asking your tarot cards if you should break up with them, and ask yourself why you're asking in the first place...then do some shadow work.
A word of caution in attraction magick: spells for obsession and lust can be really fun to play with within a strong and trusted relationship. Depending on how you practice, the effects do eventually wear off, and so it can be a new way to spice things up in your relationship. I don't, however, recommend messing around too much with this stuff with folx you don't know very well, don't feel completely comfortable with, and have a very high tolerance for spending large quantities of time with them. Because they're gonna be hitting you up, a lot.
Cord-cutting reminders:
When we cut a cord or an attachment we have to someone, it is not usually the only cord in place. Connections that have been in your life for a long time have likely formed many, many cords and attachments over time.
It is possible (and highly recommended) to sever toxic attachments between you and another person without physically separating or ending your relationship. I've cut old, codependent ties within my own marriage many times over the years. This is a good thing, like pruning the old and dead from a plant, you leave the strong and new to flourish and grow.
You can cut a cord with or without consent, and no, I don't buy into any fear-mongering bullshit that that'll come back on you in a negative way. Sometimes people won't let us go, but it's still time for us to go. Usually that is a reaction from someone who is anxiously attached, and cutting that cord will actually be in their highest good as well in the long run.
Magickal Correspondences
Love, Attraction, Opening, Adding | Break-Up, Repulsion, Closing, Removing | |
Colors | pink, red, crimson, green, white, black | black, green, purple, white |
Crystals | rose quartz, aventurine, agate, pink calcite, pink jasper, moonstone | black tourmaline, onyx, obsidian, |
Deities | Venus, Aphrodite, Diana, Freya, Hathor, Inanna, Ishtar, Isis | Hecate, Lilith, Medusa, The Morrigan, Hera, Uranus, Pluto, Athena |
Herbs, plants, ingredients | rose, lavender, poppy, spearmint, strawberry, pomegranate, basil, honey, sugar, milk | salt, pepper (spicier varieties for spicier effect effect), garlic, onion, mugwort, peppermint, elder, cypress, valerian root, (most roots in general) |
Moon phases | waxing, new, full | waning, new, full |
Planetary energies | Sun, Venus, Mars, Mercury, Jupiter, Neptune, | Pluto, Saturn, Uranus, Black Moon Lilith, Chiron, Pallas Athena, Juno |
Astrological Houses | 5th House for pleasure and passion, 7th House for partnerships, 8th House for sex and intimacy, 11th House for friendship and community | 1st House for self and confidence, 3rd House for voice and sharp wit. Shadow Houses: 4th (to get to the very root of things), 8th (death and power), 12th (endings & beginnings) |
Crafting Your Magick Spell
Candle magick, kitchen magick, dream work, cord magick- there are endless ways to incorporate attraction or repulsion into your witchcraft practice so long as you work with your personal intention fixed in your mind, which is transferred through your actions in ritual. There is no right and wrong way, meaning kitchen magick isn't necessarily better than dream work for love spells because truly it depends on each individual practitioner. But here's how you can approach your spell with clarity and strength:
Do some shadow work.
Honestly, in either case of attracting or repelling, a look inward is probably going to do you some good. Ask yourself why you want to do this spell? Once you answer, ask why to that. Don't be afraid to get real with yourself, your intentions, but also your motivations. If the effects of your spell end up coming on pretty strong, do you feel like you have the capacity for that scenario? No need to get into an argument with yourself, but if this is something that you really want, take the time it deserves to give it the thought and consideration it deserves, and that you deserve.
Cleanse & Ground, friends.
Do it lots. Energy gets muddied up pretty easily, our thoughts can spiral; knowing how to effectively simplify and re-center is incredibly beneficial (in all of witchcraft & life quite honestly) as you're attempting great focus of intention throughout your spell or meditation. And do not skip cleansing and grounding thoroughly after demanding energetic craft and work. While you're at it, rehydrate and refuel too just because you're a beautiful living being.
Write a letter.
Maybe it's to a deity you're petitioning, maybe it's to the person you're including in the spell, maybe it's a letter to a version of your self, but writing a letter and tapping into your voice is often an extremely easy and effective ways to enter into our ritual work with a clear and open mind. Power tip: read it aloud.
Dress the part.
Dress for the role you play in your spell for a strong and confident mind in ritual. Don't overthink it, go with what makes you feel your best so that it feels effortless to be in your full power. Include details like makeup, nail color, and accessories that reflect your intention or correspond to attracting or banishing.
Make sure you check out my Love Magick & Break-Up Spells episode of That Witch Podcast for more insights! We will continue exploring these kinds of magick in depth here in our witchy neighborhood and of course inside That Witch School.
How are you using your powers of attraction? Or are you planning on telling someone it's time to gtfo? Sending you solidarity and love from That Witch Next Door, stay magickal, witches.
